Today is Tuesday. The neighborhood decided to mow the grass, but not me. I will mow it tomorrow to run the gas out, so then I scrape the bottom. I mow over the scant leaves just to watch them shoot out the side. The trees are already bare in the backyard. So much for leaf changing.
I watched black caterpillars undulate over the worn blacktop. Where they are going? Who knows? Will they even make it to spring? I've seen more caterpillar this October then I did all spring.
Yesterday, I went to the Seneca reservation in New York to buy cigarettes.
So there is progress being made in my writing. But most days, I have no idea what's going and everything around slips through my fingers like oil. The days and nights are slick sometimes time moves too quick. But, I say that all time.
Sometimes, I love the silence. Most times, I love the silence. But then even in silence one can go crazy. So I find chaos in people and remember my imagined craziness is better company than most people other there.
Mega Millions is creeping closer to a billion dollars. What does that even look like? Sure, I would love to win the lottery like others. I wonder how I would change. I'd like to say that I would be the same as I always was. But I highly doubt that. I wonder if I could actualize my writing by having a room of my own and my own money.
I think the universe is pushing me on a path, sometimes I want to do something else. But here I am always going to the same place I was two years ago. There is a feeling of one day, I am going to wake up and just burst out of the shell I am in.
Well, there you go its a caterpillar kind of day with falling leaves and a chilly wind. I smell snowflakes growing in mountain clouds.
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