Tuesday, August 25, 2015

On the Horizon

I wanted to publish another ebook since it has been a few months (actually I think it is three but who is counting). So I decided on publishing a short story collection. These are unpublished stories that I like. I wanted to make it  a good sized book, but I think that is not going to happen. I went through my computer looking for all my stories and I have list of five or six. One of them will be removed because I just don't really care for it all that much once I really thought about it. One story I wanted has vanished off my hard drive and it is not in the cloud either.

 As I went through my stories, I came upon a little gem of goodness. It was an unfinished story that takes place in the future. I like to think of it as quasi-utopian society. It has no title. It is written in present tense. The style in itself is something different then what I normally write. The story is already at novella length at 27,000 words.  For some reason, I quit writing it a couple of years ago. I think I was afraid of the style or the present tense. Since you know all the writing books say I should be doing a certain thing. The one class I am taking in school showed me it was okay to be different. So I say- fuck the rules.

When I go to write a story, I don't plan nor outline. I have vague ideas that just come upon me. I don't know how it will be written. The story tells me, the characters tell me  how to write the story. I am just a stenographer for them.

Yesterday, I started working on it. I am going to finish it. I will publish it in the future on Kindle. I am not sure yet if it will be a novel or a novella. I won't know until is done.  Of course this isn't the only unfinished story either.

There is another post apocalyptic story and one about a cult that is planned as an ebook from the start.  So I am going to finish those too. I am not sure what brought this gusto on,  considering I am 3 weeks behind in working on my poetry collages. I plan on catching up this week.


My body of work is slim considering how long I have been writing. I did lose stuff in notebooks  over the years. I always say I don't write as much as I should. Two days,  I wrote in the morning for a little more than an hour. Tomorrow will be three. I want to finish all these stories and do something with them.

I also want to write a new story for here as well since it has been awhile but I have a couple ideas already percolating. I am also thinking of writing a book of nothing but flash fiction but that is still in the planning stage.

I decided to be a writer and now it is time to be writing.

Till next time...

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

It's the End of August- Autumn is Almost Here

I looked yesterday at my stats and realized that I haven't posted in almost a month and it is on my to do list every week (as well as other things). I don't have a good excuse. I wasn't jetsetting in New York and LA promoting my bestselling book. I wasn't meeting with Speilberg about movie rights. No, it is something more simple. I was just lost. The myriad of days just swirl together like a fast forward blur. Sometimes, I forget the day. Sometimes, I forget what I was thinking two seconds ago. Sometimes, I just sit in front of my computer and cannot remember what I was going to do. It is a wonder I manage to get school work done, which has been the only thing getting done. Sometimes, I feel like a kitten who gets distracted by shiny things or just random Jeopardy garbage on the internet.

I am writing about Donald Barthelme (if you don't know who he is, really check him out.) He was published in The New Yorker a lot and I was looking through the archives and then I was distracted by 1960's ads. Oh they were so, I don't know. But there went  an hour down the toilet just looking at old ads.

It's the story ideas that hit me so hard. So many and then I don't write because I have no idea why. I guess I am distracted by something. However, I did manage to write a brand new story and send it to Cicada. Sometimes, I am lost in my thoughts.  And of course are not linear, they swirl around like tornados. I just can't stay focused on work. I think about writing and I think about this and that. I think about what I am going to make for dinner and I then I make something else all together.  It's being exhausted at some time late in the afternoon and having weird dreams that make me feel drained when I wake up. And that is why I haven't written maybe I already thought I did. Maybe I wrote the post in my head (which is something I sometimes do when I am writing in a story) and then I forget to actually write it down.  So I am merrily chugging along and not really doing anything. I know it is a weird paradigm.

Okay so a little bitching now because that is what I am thinking of. Sometimes, I would like to vanish from Facebook. I find it useless. All it does is make me feel like crap because I am ignored a lot. So what is the sense of being on there? I don't really think anyone would notice if I was gone except for two people. I could just quietly go into the night and just vanish off there. I know I am not supposed to let that shit bother me but I can't help that it does, it must be hardwired into my brain or something. I sometimes wonder, what if I did become famous, would I matter more? What if I got sick, would I matter more (and if I did get sick and started mattering more that would piss me off more than anything because a person shouldn't be sick and cared about more because to me it is just too late, just my opinion though).

Even my page for my Etsy store is ignored. No one likes anything or leaves a comment. No one does anything. I tried so many of the  so called helpful things on the internet and nothing is working.  It's almost as if I am there but I am really not there at the same. Sort of like a ghost.

Okay, I will try not to be gone so long next time but I can't make any promises. I am hoping some clarity returns soon. Till next time....

Friday, July 31, 2015

Moonswallow Gates by JM Scott FREE for the 5 Days

Hey all, This is just to let you know that Moonswallow Gates is FREE for the next five days worldwide. I did go through and re-edit once again and I hope that you find it better quality of writing. If you get the book and read it, I am asking for a review of some sorts. I would rather say you hated it then not saying anything at all. This is my first novel, I am working on second novel, but the beta  people are still reading right now. The second novel, I am going to try and find a traditional publisher.

I have several ideas for a new ebook and now I just have to get off my ass and write like the wind.

Enjoy the novel.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Communion

The silkworm is not golden,
no winks snap the tremors
no carbines on the roast,
no moraine in the slam.
Then a buckeye
from an insane ATM-
falls over me.

And when I look across the
dark lantern,
nothing is not there
except for the mellow heathen pumping
blubber into my heaven.
I find the swollen stars
sleeping in underwear
deep in sleepless death.



***
Another poem for your enjoyment.... just wrote it tonight. Would love to know what you think about this poem. What does it mean to you? Let me know, let's start a conversation.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Thoughts- Publishing, Ebooks and Something Else

When you are a big shot author, how much money do you make off an ebook sale? Snap, let's start at the beginning...

I really liked the show Witches of East End on Lifetime (I actually watched this on Netflix. Hey Netflix, here's an idea, YOU continue the show.)  and it has been cancelled by Lifetime. I noticed that it was based off a book so I dashed to Amazon because I was going to get the books and read them. The paperbacks were a little pricey and since I am not a Prime member anymore, I would have to pay for shipping. Then I thought I would get the Kindle version because it SHOULD be cheaper. The first one in the series  was on $3, so I purchased it. The other two were a lot more, I think one was 8 or so and the other was 10 or more. Are they crazy? Of course the price  was set by the publisher.  Stephen King's new book Finders Keepers was $15 for the Kindle edition and I bought the hardback for $17 at Sam's Club. And chances are if the other two Witches of East End books are at Wal- Mart,  I can get the paperback for less then ten bucks a piece if not closer to five, which is what I would pay for an ebook.

As an author who publishes on Kindle, I know what Amazon pays me for royalty. I am not a fancy pants writer so I price accordingly. Which leaves me wondering who is making the money for an ebook sale?  I read somewhere that the publisher covers the cost of printing the books, advertising, editing, etc. These expenses are paid for by the  sales of the book. The publisher takes their cut, then the author gets whatever they are supposed to. Am I right on this?   But when it comes to ebooks, there are no printing costs. Even if you pay for a formatter, it is one cost at the beginning.

Am I wrong to assume that these publishers are setting high prices for ebooks so they can turn a larger profit or does the author actually make more for ebook sales?  Someone tell me the answer! Anyone out there in the world that can shed some light on this topic?

I know publishing books is a business and if you aren't making money, then why do it? Not many companies would keep running in the red.

And really I have nothing else to say about anything at the moment. I tell you what this post sounded a lot better in my head. Sometimes that happens, maybe I should have wrote the post hours ago when it was perfect in my head.

Next week is my birthday and I will be 35. I look back at my life and the number doesn't seem all that big, but I know I already done so much in my life. Now I am at the golden age for being a fancy pants writer with the rest of them. So for my birthday, I wish to be a successful author. <Blowing out the candles>.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Clandestine Emasculation

the jump of flame
the human soil
the infamous malice
the clandestine manner
the alpha reputation
the oblique underhand
the imperial white house

the boudoir eavesdroppers
the lodges of magic
the secret memoirs
the pestilent greeting
the looking-glass fire

the ambition
the hate


the prescription of emasculation.



Found poem using words and phrases found on Google result pages 1-5 for the term "back stairs slanderer"

****

I'm trying to be more dedicated with all my writing and since I am almost done with my term at school, I had a free day to really work on writing. Right now, I am working on poems. I just wrote this one and for some reason I just had to post it on here. I don't know why but it seemed like a good idea. 

Monday, June 22, 2015

Suburban Vampires Chapter 7: Sexy Blood Sisters

Jess Foster waited for Whiskey to call. This was her weekend she was going to change. She was 16 when she met Carl Vincent. Carl was a vampire and he promised to change her. He was her true love and gave her everything she could ever want. But that was a long time ago. Then shortly after graduating college, she met Ray Foster, a brilliant and almost greedy investor. It was a nice arrangement. At one time she loved Ray, she popped out a few kids and life was good but she always thought about Carl. Then Whiskey of all people turns into a vampire. Whiskey or as everyone knows her as Lynne. Not a hair out of place, married to a lawyer with lovely children who are smart. Jess knew the real Whiskey, the one that liked to get drunk while the kids were sleeping and talk about everyone else in the neighborhood. Whiskey had two faces the together soccer mom and the devil waiting to bust through the skin.

Jess loved Whiskey for everything that she was, the most cunning of two faced women. But it wasn’t really two faced the other women were. Since Ray went to jail for embezzling, the other women, the other moms, shunned Jess. Whiskey could care less about Ray and his thievery. She played nice with the other moms and women but pretty much hated them all. Whiskey and Jess weren’t "silver". Silver was Whiskey’s term for anyone who had a silver spoon in their mouth. Jack was wealthy and Drew came from a upper middle class family. Whiskey was nothing like them but Whiskey always wanted a silver life. This always struck Jess as odd because she played the part so well but behind closed doors she hated the people in the silver life or at least the people she knew. Jess, too, always wanted the silver life and that’s why she married Ray. Silver always come at a cost, Jess knew that. She often wondered what did Whiskey give up to have the silver life.

Ray’s mother picked up the kids an hour ago and Jess hopped in the shower and put on a nice pair of jeans. Whiskey didn’t say where they were going. It didn’t matter though. Jess looked out the window and saw Jess talking to the yummy 20 year old neighbor David LaFete. Whiskey smiled and touched his arm. He was bare chested. And all though David was super thin with tattoos all over his arms, he was so damn hot.

Whiskey knocked on the door, "you ready to go?"

"So where are we going?"

"I know this place in New Hampshire. I rented a cabin for the night. It won’t take long and we will be all alone," Whiskey said and kissed her on the cheek.

"Does Jack know?"

"He knows that we are not to be disturbed. I said I need girl time, so let’s go." Whiskey smiled and Jess loved Whiskey’s smile. It was so god damn sweet. Since Whiskey became a vampire, she was more radiant.

"Are you scared?" Whiskey asked as they crossed over into New Hampshire.

"Yeah a little. So I have to know, why did you go along with Jack. It doesn’t seem like something you would do without thinking about it."

"With Jack, I don’t know, I just do things," Whiskey answered and frowned.

"Maybe he made you do it with his vampire control," Jess said and changed the radio station.

"I hope not. But I guess that can’t be undone."

Whiskey pulled into a wooded path a drove to a small cabin. They carried in their bags and Jess flopped on the sofa.

"So how does this work?"

"Jack bit me first then gave me his blood. I have to feed on you all the way for it to work. You sure you want to do this?" Whiskey said and sat down next to Jess.

"I have never been more sure in my life." Jess’s heart rate increased. This was the time and she was scared as hell. Scared and excited. The last time Whiskey fed off of her, she had to go home and masturbate for an hour.

Whiskey reached over and started rubbing her shoulders. Then she kissed Jess’s neck.

"I’m ready Whiskey," Jess whispered. Whiskey bit hard into her neck. There was an electric feeling at the wound. Whiskey stopped with blood pouring from her mouth. She was so sexy. Whiskey dug into her arm and drew blood. Jess took the blood and it was cold but sweet. Whiskey bit down again. Jess suckled the blood then there was nothing.

So much pain. Jess woke up screaming on the floor. Whiskey came over and laid next to her.

"It will be over soon, Jess," Whiskey said and stroked her hair. Then Whiskey gave her a blood bag. Jess took drank from it.

Whiskey lay next to her for some time then she said, "so let’s have some fun."

"What did you have in mind?" Jess asked still woozy from the transformation.

"I don’t know," Whiskey stood up. "There’s a bar down the road from here."

"No Vampire etiquette?" Jess asked.

"Fuck no, stick with me and follow my lead and we’ll be okay." Whiskey grinned.

***

The found themselves at a dance club where the bass pounded walls. There was no neon or cheesy bar name. It was just called The Hole. They didn’t pay a cover, Whiskey made sure of that. Whiskey was 33 and she looked 21. Jess caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and she could have swore she looked different as well. Jess sat in a booth and Whiskey brought over large mixed drinks.

Jess sipped it. Something nagged her, it was the pumping blood of everyone around her. She wanted everything in site. Her fangs grew. Whiskey grabbed her hand and kissed her lips then whispered, "you have to remember not to eat everything you see." Whiskey kissed her again and her hunger turned to desire and she kissed Whiskey back.

Two men who barely were 21 approached them. They looked like college kids and smelled good. They were definitely silver. They slid in the booth.

"So you guys together or you looking to party?" One of them said.

Whiskey smiled and drank the rest of her drink, "tell you what, buy us more of these and we’ll see where the night takes us."

They smiled and got up. Everything was happening quickly like a impressionist painting. Everything around Jess was swirling and chiming. Whiskey asked if she was doing okay. Jess nodded.

"Let’s have some fun with them before we drink them," Whiskey said.

The boys came back with two large umbrella drinks.

"So where do you girls call home?" the one with the brown hair asked as he put his arm around Jess’s shoulder and snuggled closer.

"We are from Boston. I’m Hayley and this is Rachael," Whiskey said.

"Cool, so I’m Pete but my friends call me P and my buddy is Taylor."

Whiskey was so smooth, she glided closer to P, looked over at Jess and winked. Jess looked into Taylor’s eyes and tried slipping a message in.

"So really I have only had sex once in my life and she was my cousin," Taylor announced at the table.

"What the fuck, Tay, what are you talking about?" P said.

Jess and Whiskey laughed. Jess said, "you know I love the ones without experience. Me and Hayley love taking the new ones under our wings."

"How many has it been, Rach?"

"At least six" Jess said.

P then jumped in, "well I’ve only had sex twice and it has been awhile. So you work together?"

"We are not hookers, we just enjoy playing with others," Whiskey said and guzzled her drink.

"I’m ready now, just talking about it makes my panties wet," Jess announced. "Ooh that’s right, I don’t have any on." Taylor knocked over his beer.

"What do you say guys?" Whiskey said.

"Yeah, we are up for it? We going back to your place?"

"I don’t think so, we are staying with family friends. How about yours?"

"We live in a dorm."

"Don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of it."

The four of them piled into Whiskey’s SUV and she drove them to a Bates Motel looking place outside of town. Jess watched her walk to the office. The boys were sat in the back seat. She never cheated on Ray before. It’s not that it didn’t cross her mind, but he always seemed to find out and there was always punishment for digressions. Always. Whiskey showed a key and they followed her to the end room. As expected, it had two beds that were well stained and cheap wall art on plastered walls that were yellowed with age and nicotine. It smelled musty and stale but it didn’t matter.

Whiskey locked the door behind them and went for P. Jess followed her lead and shoved Taylor to the bed. The guys fumbled clumsily with their clothes .

Whiskey got off of P and said, "me and Rach have to freshen up. You don’t mind do you?"

P shook his head. Jess followed Whiskey in the bathroom. Whiskey shut the door.

"Are you nervous," Whiskey asked and slipped off Jess’s shirt and undid her bra.

"I never cheated on Ray," Jess blurted out.

"He’s been in jail for how long? Four years? What did you do?"

"I have a massive dildo collection," Jess said.

Whiskey kissed her neck and slid out of her dress.

"We’re not sleeping with them. We’re just taking our desert but we have to make it look good. When they are excited it makes the blood pump faster," Whiskey said. "So when you feed, hold his wrist and when is heart really spikes let go. I know you will want more but you have to control it. I’ll be with you, the whole way," Whiskey said.

She opened the bathroom door and they stepped out. Whiskey looked at the men on separate beds, "on the same bed," she said.

P obeyed and laid next to his friend on the bed. The girls got on the beds and kissed the skinny chests. As P kissed and fondled Whiskey’s breasts. She looked right into Taylor’s eyes and then bit him on his neck. Jess followed and down in his inner thigh. Whiskey held his wrist, his pulse sped up. Whiskey pulled away and looked right into P’s eyes. He stopped touching her. Jess let go of Taylor. He laid still and dazed as if he were on three e tabs. Whiskey went for the inner thigh and Jess went for his neck. Whiskey let go, feeling a little high and giddy. Fresh blood was always better than in a bag. She licked her lips and licked the wound. Jess didn’t stop. Whiskey tried to pull her away. Jess shoved her away. Whiskey tried again but it was too late.

When Jess pulled away blood fell over her naked body. Whiskey found herself drawn to the blood and licked it off her body.

"Did I kill him?" Jess asked quietly. She knew she killed him and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. All she thought about was Ray and she got so angry. She would love to kill Ray. Was it wrong? To kill the man who brought her pain with a glittering price tag.

Whiskey nodded, "wash up and meet me outside."

Jess went into the bathroom and watched Whiskey work. She went through their pockets and found a pocket knife. She took it and cut P’s dead body between the bite marks. Then she took Taylor’s shirt and wiped the blade clean. Taylor still lay on the bed dazed and high.

Whiskey spoke to him, "you and your buddy brought some drunk girls back. You all got high and you decided it would be fun to play vampires. So you cut your friend and drank his blood. Those two girls were scared and ran off. You don’t remember anything else,"

Jess washed her face and put on her clothes. Whiskey came in and hugged her.

"It will be okay. Got one more loose end to tie up."

They closed the door and Whiskey went back to the office. Jess shook in the seat. She actually killed a person. What happened to her. Whiskey was not shocked. She thrust her new confident self into the driver’s seat. She was made to be a vampire. Cunning, cool and smart with more power than anyone could ever imagine. How could Jess ever measure up to Whiskey?