Thursday, August 18, 2016

Congealed Sticks of Coolness

light bulb luminescence
on the shadow stage,
I rape fantasies.
assembly line witches
take to the sky,
silver moonlight decays
into another long
goodbye. I am
deliberate surges
of power, hostage
to twisted imaginations
hanging around unseen faith.
the shattered supreme
battery choir covets
diesel in the clouds,
I explode- capturing
splintered sunsets.

***
It's been awhile since I posted a poem. One day I will get around to collecting some poems on my hard drive ( the good ones not the sucky ones) and make a poetry collection. Speaking of poetry collections, I only fourteen more poems to write for Trick or Poem. I will be taking my last poetry workshop in school in the upcoming term.

Sad to see summer go.

Till next time

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Help Me Win!

Hey all, So I am one of those people that think there are signs in this world and sometimes act on them rather impulsively. Well, this is one of those times. For the last couple of days, I have been polishing Gone Before Dawn, the novel I wrote in 2014. While on Facebook one day, I came across an ad to enter the novel in the contest through Inkitt.com. Yeah, I know they really don't have a good reputation right now, but honestly I do not have much to lose. Back to contest, I submit my novel and then if I am one of the winners, they will try and get my book published at a major publisher, like an agent. If there are no takers, then they will publish it through Kindle and market it. Their premise is using math and picking out a bestseller based on the reader. From what I read they based off of the phenomenal success of Fifty Shades ( I won't even get into that right now).

This is where I need you. If you think I have what it takes.Then please join the site and reserve a copy of my novel. Here is the link Gone Before Dawn Please help me. The only thing, I hate about this is I know like five people that will help me and now I have to go around and begging for help. I am not even a good beggar. The entire novel is posted and I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

Thanks in advance.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Dear NRA

Thanks for calling today! I don't know why I answered the phone, but I must have thought that is was important. I am not sure why I listened to about half of the recorded message from the VP, I suppose I was curious.  And the gist of the phone call was to try and  solicit money from me  because with Hillary Clinton lurking around the White House, WE ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER OF LOSING OUR SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHT. HILLARY CLINTON AND THOSE DEMOCRATS ARE TAKING OUR GUNS!!!

Unfortunately, I do not and never have felt that my second amendment right was at risk. I can't believe so many people believe all  Democrats and those associated with them are evil, gun hating people that want to melt all weapons into pony figurines. I don't hate guns.   I'm sorry NRA, I don't respond to your brand of begging for money, what you are pushing is irrational fear. Maybe that works for some people, but not for me.

I believe in the second amendment, as I do with all the amendments. But here's the problem and it's not with Tom, Dick, or Jane's right to own a firearm. Honestly, I really don't give a shit if a law abiding person owns a gun or fifty. What I have a problem with is the people who have a PFA and for some reason get a gun and kill someone.  I have a problem with people who have serious mental issues getting a firearm. I have a problem with people who illegally obtain handguns to kill other people. What I have problem is why in the last twenty years people decide that using a gun is their weapon of choice to kill others for no good reason.

You don't know this, but I am looking for answers for those questions. How are guns getting on the streets and how we do fix the problem? Perhaps if you called me on the phone and told me you wanted to spend my donation on finding solutions to this very real problem, I might donate. If you called me on the phone and told me that the NRA knows there is a gun problem with criminals  and you have real ideas that both sides of the aisle way can agree on then perhaps I would share my money with this cause,

The NRA has a lot of clout, there's no denying it. Instead of screaming that the we are going to lose our guns, which is untrue, perhaps we, me, you, and everyone,  should figure out solutions. Maybe that is how the money should be spent. And NRA, you just  might have a lot more members because you are using your incredible force to benefit all and not just a few.

And before go, since I truly believe in the first amendment right, please feel free to call me names because that is what it seems like people, who do not agree with another person (both Republicans, Democrats and others),  do online. Please call me whatever helps you sleep better at night, or make you feel better about yourself. Chances are,  there is probably at least one grammar mistake call me stupid and uneducated, if you wish.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Watch the Parties Fall Apart

Just after a week of Donald Trump officially received the Republican nod for president, the Democrats go and have a shit storm of a convention in Philadelphia. The latest is the chair of the DNC sent emails trying to undermine Sanders' campaign, with thoughts of trying to say he he was atheist. Stop right there....

1. Why the fuck does it matter if the person running for president is atheist? Does it make you bad person? All of a sudden you have no morals because you don't believe in god. Ever hear of a thing called separation of church and state? You know what there should BE MORE of that. Unlike the Republicans who wants to push a fake Christian agenda onto a people where there is supposed to FREEDOM of religion as granted by the FIRST AMENDMENT.

2. To try and undermine Sanders' campaign just shows that the Democrats have little faith in Hillary Clinton in winning the nomination. I don't know why that is, but that is pretty pathetic.

3. Clinton Campaign tries to pin the email leak on Russia. Hey, I thought it was 2016, didn't the cold war end? When I first read that, I thought I went back in time. Maybe Putin does care who is President and maybe he would prefer one over the other but I highly doubt the Russian Kremlin hacked into the DNC email system to benefit the Donald. I think Putin is smarter than that  and I am sure if he really wanted Donald in, he would do it more covertly.

4. There is a lot of talk about rigged campaigns. I cannot speak for other states. I voted in the primaries in PENNSYLVANIA. I went to my polling place, there were no lines. They found my name easily as they have for the last several elections. I have been registered to vote since I was 18 (18 years ago). I registered as republican at 18. Changed to an independent later on. In 2007, I switched my party affiliation to democrat to vote in the primaries and never switched it back. I don't normally vote in primaries, but I vote in all the elections in November.  Anyway Clinton won Pennsylvania in 2016 and I didn't see anything about voter fraud and other problems. But then again maybe Sanders never really cared about Pennsylvania. I know we are not as big as California or New York but we quite a few delegates up for grabs. And if the DNC were fucking with polling places, I guess they didn't care about Pennsylvania anyway.  I also never vote straight ticket. 

Of course not be outdone or more mature than the Republicans,  half the democrats hate Hillary Clinton. Hate her so much  that there are protests and booing and sorts of adult things going on. Oh yeah the Democrat party is fractured big time. And let's not forget some Bernie supporters are going green. That is really effective since Jill Stein is not on every state's ballot. Gary Johnson is but since he doesn't offer free college, I guess he is nothing but a reasonable individual with good thoughts.

So let's all cry that Bernie Sanders is not the nominee and huff and puff and make a big ole fuss. And here are your options in November:

1. Stay the fuck home.

2. Write Bernie Sanders in

3. Vote for Jill Stein or I guess write her in since she is not on all the state's ballots

4. Vote for Gary Johnson, libertarian which is a party I am thinking of joining. I am having a hard time accepting the platform the Republicans are standing behind. Democrats have more I agree with. The Libertarian has the most I agree with except for the economic plans, which I tend to fall with democrats on that one. Okay, I may not be old enough to really know, but here's my thought. I am 36. Reagan was elected in November of 1980 with his thoughts of trickle down. It is now 2016 and the only thing I see is more money at the top and nothing at the bottom. In fact, I would have to win a large Powerball to even make it to the top. Because even if I were to become a doctor I still would only be in the middle. Hard work doesn't get you where you used to.

5. Vote for Donald Trump

6. Vote for Hillary

7. Vote for congress and write your favorite cartoon character for president. I cannot stress this enough. At least vote for the members of congress. And if you don't know why, then maybe you should go to school with the immigrants who have to learn all about this country so they can be a citizen.




Sunday, July 24, 2016

Turning 36

Last week (July 15), I turned 36. It is sort of a weird age. I don't feel any different than I did maybe six years ago, except I creak a hell of a lot more than I used to.  I don't feel old or antique. And lately, it has sort of dawned on me that parents are 60 and turning 59. It's not that I didn't know that before, it just seems like my time with them is running out. I wonder what  kind of things they thought about when they were my age. It's not just that, but my kid turned 12 in June. All of this just puts me in a weird place, there are thoughts I want to think of but I can't find the words. Most of the time, I feel like I am still 25, and  everyone else around me is getting older. I don't have gray hair, but I am fine with the grays. And maybe that's why I don't feel 36. Although I secretly hope that when I am old, I have white hair like my grandmother. It's sort of like blonde but  not.

I thought I would be a lot further along in my writing career than I am now. I go in these waves of working hard and sending away stuff. But of course, I also get  rejections up the ass. All rejections all the time. So maybe I am just good enough to be a writer. I am having a hard time writing lately. I had all these plans for 2016, which were flushed down the toilet. I have ideas, yet no ambition. Sometimes, I tell myself I just need a nibble, of someone in the world telling me I'm okay. But, then I suppose that is addicting,  the constant need of "atta boy." I don't give myself a pat on the back because I don't deserve them; I am just not good at writing. If that is the case, what then? All my life I thought of myself as a writer. Here I am about halfway through my life and I feel like I am just floating along like a dry hot wind from the west.

In my wind storm of thoughts and story ideas, I am lost and I don't know what to do. I always think like a writer and read like a writer and I don't know what to do with myself if I weren't a writer. I try not think like that. It creeps up all the time though. It is frustration and confusion and anger. Why can't I just be good enough, at least just once. I don't see it in myself. I can't stop comparing myself to any other writer and wonder what the hell is wrong with my work.

I suppose it is hard to explain.  I sit around wondering how other people's, normal, non writers brains work and maybe my brain is not right. Because I would like to feel normal once and maybe I can see something I didn't before.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Lying Angels

My mother named me Angelina-Jean, but some of you know me as AJ Soloman.  She named me Angelina because of her guardian angel and Jean because of her mother. A guardian angel saved her life when she fell through the ice at sixteen.

Mom would consult Calgary, the angel,  for all life decisions. She had a clear pointed crystal that hung on a delicate silver chain, and she would ask Calgary yes or no questions. For a  yes answer, the pendulum would swing in a circle. For a no answer it would swing back and forth. Mom would  ask should I try for that promotion at work? The pendulum swung back and forth. And all though she frowned at the answer, she believed it was for the best. Every time Mom asked,  her angel kept saying no. She worked twenty years at the same hotel as a housekeeper and believed until the moment she took her last breath  that God had a plan and guardian angels never lied and always pointed you in the right direction.

Two things happened when I was thirteen. I won the Philadelphia city-wide fiction contest for my age group and my mother presented me with my own pendant to consult  my own guardian angel. Teachers and other adults had said I was soo talented and I should be a writer.  I asked  my guardian angel, Catrella, every day will I be a successful writer. Sometimes I asked  should I be a writer? The pendulum always swung in a large circle.

A liberal arts degree and one craptastic job after another, I am now forty years old and my writing career is not existent. It’s rejection after rejection and a mountain of  bad reviews. I just couldn’t believe that this could be happening. And Catrella, my supposed guardian angel,  had lied to me all these years.

I went to a  real psychic she laughed at me and said I had no angel.   I am tired of being a pawn in “God’s” plan. There is no God and no guardian angel. All my life wasted away.

There is a man I know, a close friend of twenty years, he asked me time and time again to marry him.  He is rich and I  do cherish the time we spend together, I just don’t love him like that. In fact,  the idea of fucking him on our wedding night makes me nauseous.  I asked the crystal about him and it said no to him and yes for writing. Now, I am making my own choices.

I deleted my hard drive, millions of words gone. I put down the pen. Burned all the notebooks and rejections letters. How bad could it be? Being with him has got to be better than chasing a fantasy.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Primaries, Bernie Sanders and Beyond

I haven't talked much about politics lately. The entire internet is full of extremely biased left and right views  and those that walk in the middle do seem to be  invisible. I am glad primary season is for the most part over ( I know folks in DC still have to vote). Let's talk about primaries. You know the big parties and there are dozens of little parties. And if 2016 taught us anything it is this.... we definitely need to start changing how primaries are run. One thing is for certain the superdelegates and unbound delegates of the Democratic and Republican parties need to disappear.

If you really think about it, we don't vote for President, we don't even get to choose who we want for president. It's all delegates or the electoral college. We need to change that. You want to keep the delegates, so be it but get rid of those superdelegates.

And why does primary season last for six months but election day last one day? Caucuses are outdated and if anything excludes would be voters because of other commitments. Who makes up these rules? We need to talk about change, real change.

We should have a primary day or even a primary month, where all states and territories vote in an OPEN primary. That's right I said "open." It's time we start voting for the person and not the party. Sorry Iowa and New Hampshire, you should not set the stage for primary season.

Don't you think this election year would be a lot different if people could choose the candidate they wanted instead of choosing the default candidate because that person was the only one left on the ballot?

We need to demand to hear from a party that is not Republican or Democrat. Gary Johnson is the Libertarian candidate. He has some excellent beliefs and ideals, he will get to debate if he receives 15%  support. What the hell kind of rule is that? We should be presented ideas with the same ones we heard about for the last several decades.

Before moving on, I just want to say I am not against Bernie Sanders. And if you feel as though you need to call me names, or say I am stupid, uneducated, or whatever you feel then please do so. I will not inhibit first amendment rights. I believe in freedom of speech.

I had no idea who Bernie Sanders was before 2015. Who knew he spent all those years in congress?  I like some of Sanders plans. I have been a huge supporter for universal health care forever.

Our healthcare system is beyond repair. And it is a vicious cycle of greed. United Health cries because they are not posting over  400 billion dollars of profit. Why is healthcare so expensive? Is it drugs? Malpractice insurance? The desire to have the latest Mercedes?

Why is it I can get full coverage car insurance for less money per month than health insurance? Why would that same car insurance pay 20,000, 30,000 or more per claim? Why can I get dental and eye insurance for less than twenty bucks a month for a family but health insurance is not affordable- even before the ACA.  Why is life insurance so freaking cheap when you get a 100,000 policy which is probably the cost of several hospitalizations?

Universal healthcare is something Franklin D Roosevelt wanted as well. And I believe it will save money. I am working on a plan that I would like to introduce to my representatives in January that I think will help solve some problems.

Sanders also wants to raise the minimum wage and provide for maternity leave, close tax loop holes and lift the ceiling for FICO taxes, which will hopefully flood the Social Security confers.

These are good things, but something about him bothers me. Maybe it's not him, but maybe it's  the internet. He really seems to hate the wealthy. And sometimes the way he talks, he wants revolution. Like Russian Revolution, not American revolution. I agree- Mr Sanders things need to change.

I sit around and wonder- why did he run now? How come I never heard of him before now? A good strategy would have been starting his revolution years ago.   (I didn't know who Mitch McConnell was until he said they will not hold hearings for a new Supreme Court Justice. I am guessing he was not  in the news a lot so he had to do something).

Why is it Sanders went bonkers for debate prior to the New York primary but could care less about Pennsylvania, who had a lot of delegates to offer up. Instead he visits main campus Penn State.

From what I see, he loves the feeling of young people loving him. He talks about fervently about income equality and free college and gets the young people riled up and looking for a fight, to "fight the man" I guess.  He collects the disenfranchised and angry voters, much like Donald Trump. Does he tell you who to vote for in congress?

I am not saying education is not important because it is extremely important. But free college? I understand I will pay more taxes, unless you make less than 20K a year. How am I supposed to pay my student loans if I don't have much take home pay? At least some of you will get "free college" So there's that.

We need to figure out why college is expensive. There is nothing wrong with having some debt because of college. There is something wrong with having $30,000 worth of debt.  Even in the game of Life, you take a loan for a college. Just so you know, I have $43,000 student loan debt for about 5 years of education. I have student loan debt  from 15 years ago. On the bright side, they are consolidated and deferred right now. I can only imagine what I will owe after next year.

Bernie Sanders is taking his fight to the convention in Philly. And I say- more power to you.

What if he gets the nomination? And he becomes president? Things take time. Not all democrats agree with his ideas. What if he never gets anything done? Would it still be a conspiracy?

Remember, congress writes the bills, the president signs them or vetoes them. I don't think Bernie Sanders cares about anyone else in the democratic party and it doesn't really seem to matter who his band of disenfranchised, angry voters vote for  as long it's for him.

One thing all of us, regardless of party lines should make as a goal for 2017 is to get the national debt paid off. Of course, we can't come up with 19 trillion dollars in one year. But things have to be set in motion. Is it rumor or is it truth that the military has equipment that is not being used but they lack good equipment? We need to stop wasting money. We do need to close loopholes and impose taxes on capital gains. And before implementing new programs- we need to reign in this debt. This is astronomical. Doesn't the US government get a ton of tax money in, where does it go?

This has to be a priority because it will make us stronger and safer. We need to tell our congresspeople that they need to manage money smarter and better and pay down the debt.

So remember to vote in November even if Bernie is not the nominee because congress is important. And we, the voters,  have to make our voices heard in congress, they work for us, they represent us, Make sure they know that.