Saturday, January 9, 2016
Why I Need an AK-47
I know I will pass the background checks. How? I have several done for employment. I had a thorough one through the FBI just to work at the YMCA. Background checks- free and clear.
Here are the reason I need an AK-47. The world is a scary place, it really is and with a weapon such as this, I know I would be able to sleep better at night knowing I have the ultimate in home protection. Just because I don't live in a big old city, doesn't mean there aren't some scary and life threatening situations just lurking around the corner.
1. Critters in the trash- raccoons, skunks, possums. They hop in the trashcan looking for some rotten vittles. I don't want to be bit by such a critter; they could have rabies. Who the hell wants to get rabies shots? Not I. With an AK-47, I can take care of the critter problem. I guarantee you word will get around the critter circles, they will not be visiting my trashcans again.
2. Someone might break into my house. Hey this can happen anywhere. Look I am not a good shot, I probably would shoot the wall with a pistol but with an AK-47, I will definitely shoot the perp at least somewhere. That cocksucker also will not try that shit again.
3. Bath Salts. I am talking about the designer drug not what you take a bath with. It doesn't matter where you live, people do drugs. How am I supposed to know when some crazy, hyped- up bath salt fucker doesn't come around my house looking for trouble. With an AK-47, he or she definitely would not be causing trouble at my house again.
4. Crazy, hungry, rabid bears. I like to walks in the woods in the state park. I know bears live in the those woods, but I have never seen one. It is always possible that a crazy, hungry, rabid bear will come out of the woods and see me as a delectable dinner. With an AK-47, I can definitely take down the bear and save my life. It is always good to be prepared because I am sure that happens.
5. Aliens. Not legal or illegal humans that come from a different country, but these guys:
6. And this is the most important reason: ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE. When the time comes, I don't want to be the one screwball without an AK-47. You can buy your emergency food pails from online (which I would do soon). You should also stock up on water and oxytocin. Because your survival against zombies and non-zombies who are looking to steal your supplies is an AK-47.
What do you think? Until next time...