Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Breaking the Synapse

I have spent all day thinking of what to post to tell the world I am still here, still in the world's cacophony, since it has been almost a week since I posted. And even though I make daily to do lists, weekly to do lists, and  goals for the year, I'm never sure where the time goes.

I tried to collect my thoughts and focus on one thing, but everything gets away from me. I sit and stare at a blank screen thinking about politics, about Donald Trump, about North Korea, about the people in Puerto Rico, about the what it means to be a patriot, about the book I just finished,  about last night's episode of American Horror Story,  about the novel I'm going to write for Nanowrimo, about the story I want to work on, about the Christmas poem I want to write, about the dreams I have been having that make me feel disoriented for the rest of the day.  So no, my thoughts just aren't there.  They are everywhere.

Sometimes, I feel like pissing off people on Facebook. Sometimes, I wish I could quit playing Candy Crush. Sometimes, I wish I wasn't so hard on myself. Sometimes, I wish I could get something published instead of the endless barrage of rejection letters. 

Sometimes.... you just sit in front of the computer and explode. And look I probably wrote 300 words.  Not that I feel any better or less cluttered. Perhaps, I am seeking a few moments of quiet where my thoughts nag someone else. And there is nothing up there but quiet.

Maybe we all need quiet, silence from the world that keeps drilling and breaking the synapses. 

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