I Love Santa Clarita Diet

Last night, I binge-watched Santa Clarita Diet  and I loved it.  And I am really hoping for a season two. What is not to love?

Zombies- check
Drew Barrymore- check
Drew Barrymore munching on dead people- check
Dark humor-check.

But then it got me thinking, sure I love zombies, who doesn't?  There was something more. Something about Sheila and Joel's characters, how they curse all the damn time, and how they act. How the  music is stuff I heard when I was younger. And then it dawned on me- I related to the characters.

And then I realized, damn I middle-aged. When the fuck did that happen? Weird thing is even though Joel and Sheila are middle-aged, they didn't act middle aged (aside from the killing and hiding dead people). You know like middle-aged like how our parents were long time ago. It's like there was whole secret world that gets opened up when your middle-aged. Seriously, you want to drink beer and watch Spongebob, no one  gives a shit. All while your kid is just trying to hide. It's like you spend your twenties raising small children and then boom by the time you are in your mid-thirties your kids are older and things are different.

Sure, there are a lot of people who hate getting older. This July I will turn 37 and I am looking forward to it. I will be only 42 when my kid is 18. That is still middle aged with plenty  more to go.

How do you feel about getting older?
Till next time...

Stitches and The Hatfield and McCoys

It's been awhile since I wrote anything about what I watched on Netflix. Oh I watch stuff on Netflix but when a new season of a show I like comes out, I powerhouse the entire season. And there are other times where I want to write about something but then either I forget or I just don't do it. I watched 2 movies the other night. One is about a killer clown named Stitches and Hatfield and McCoy movie, the one with Christian Slater.

First things first, let's talk clowns...

Stitches just became available on Netflix (1/14) it is an Irish independent horror movie.  I watched an Irish movie on Netflix and for some reason there was subtitles I suppose the Irish accent was too thick in this movie, the accent is too much and there are no subtitles. The movie starts with a clown who goes a kid's birthday party. He may not be the greatest clown but the kids aren't very well behaved and give Stitches a hard time. Then Stitches dies in a truly gory, horrible, exciting, bizarre way at this kid's birthday party. Then time moves forward 6 years when the same kid is having a birthday party and Stitches comes back from the grave to get his revenge on the kids at the birthday party he died at.

I liked this movie. Yes, it is a little cheesy and Stitches delivers one-liners ala Freddy Kreuger style and other killers after a kill. The story is also decent.  The kill scenes are all unique and full of blood and guts. Don't expect this movie to be like the great horror movies but it holds its own ground, especially if you have a clown fear. Go on and watch it.

The second movie was The Hatfields and McCoys: Bad Blood with Christian Slater it is currently available (1/14).  I picked this movie because it was a story about the famous feud. I knew about it but I didn't know a lot about it.  So this movie is about the Hatfields, who lived in West Virgina and the McCoys, who live in Kentucky and they were fighting back and forth. The movie starts with Asa McCoy killed by a rogue band of Confederate supporters, the Logan Wildcats run by the Hatfields. The movie climaxes when McCoys young daughter and wife were killed at their cabin by the Hatfields.

I watched this whole thing and then I Googled it. Sure this movie is based on facts but the timing is all off. Yes, it was believed that Asa was killed by a Hatfield but it years before there was anymore violence. In the movie everything happens kind of quick. One thing that remains is Rose Anna and Jonce's relationship except that is portrayed differently in this movie. Aside from all of that, it really is a good movie.  There is a lot action and the story line moves very quick. So if you love American lore then this will be a good movie to watch.  I watched the Pumpkinhead version of the Hatfield and McCoy story and that was decent.

It's raining where I live today and maybe it's raining, or snowing or too fucking cold to go out so why not turn on the old Netflix and watch some movies. Have a  wonderful day.

Gingerbread Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver

On average, I spend more time browsing through Netflix and adding titles to the instant queue than I do actually watching things. I do watch quite a bit but some are Hollywood movies like the Hellraiser series or they are not even worthy of any one's time.

Last night as the very disappointing remnants of Hurricane Sandy meowed through, I watched Gingerbread Man  3: Saturday Night Cleaver. Three words: HOMICIDAL GINGERBREAD MAN.  I was intrigued, curious, and all other adjectives about this movie. I already knew going into it the cheese level would be off the scale but sometimes it is just plain fun to watch a stupid somewhat gory horror/comedy movie.

I never saw the other 2 but I don't think you need to (hell, I am not even sure they exist, I am sure they do but who cares anyway). So the bad ass gingerbread man is freed from his prison, some how finds himself in this laboratory where they are experimenting with a time machine. And he gets his doughy ass sent back to 1976. Not just any old place in 1976 but a disco roller skating rink. The movie just gets better from there.

The movie spoofs Silent of the Lambs, Carrie and even Porky's the spoofs are cheesy but also a little funny. Though this is not a Troma movie, there are some of the same elements. Raunchy sex scenes and sex jokes (definitely the Porky's spoof scene), there is some gore (hey for some reason a roller skating rink just happens to have a giant tub of hydrochloric acid and there is a nail gun) but it is totally fake and funny. The storyline is stupid as hell but look at the title of the movie, really how serious can you be with a HOMICIDAL GINGERBREAD MAN.

Sometimes a movie like this (check back into Poultrygeist ) is reminder that we need to just watch something for stupid's sake. And as writers it is a gentle reminder that it is okay to have fun with writing and that we all don't have to be serious all the time. There is plenty of time for serious movies, serious story lines and serious character development.

With that my little chickadees, may your trick or treat bags hold steady and the candy plentiful.

Hear My Plea, Bring Back The Secret Circle

I love the paranormal. I love paranormal shows like Vampire Diaries, Supernatural and of course  The Secret Circle. I used to watch Charmed and Roswell.   I don't have cable and I don't get much through the air other than PBS so I watch all my shows through Netflix. And there is nothing more I hate when I am completely hooked on a series on Netflix and then I come to find out the damn show was cancelled. I know some of you know how that is.

With all the new supernatural shows it is a wonder this one was cancelled. Maybe witches aren't as cool as vamps. Of course vamps are hot right now. What is agitating is that the show ended so good, I was really looking forward to more because I felt we were really getting to a juicy story line too.

Okay, so the CW doesn't want to carry it, there has got to be another network willing to take the plunge, what about FOX or maybe even TBS or TNT and why not Nickledeon ( the show is rated TV 14 and that is a stretch for this network but they can make it work and maybe even gain a more diverse audience. Although I love Nickledeon and I would watch Spongebob Squarepants any day)

I heard rumors that Netflix, wanted to have its own original content hey this is perfect. I read somewhere that solo magic is more expensive than circle magic. Who would have thought magic comes with a varying price tag.

There seems to be a lot of people who love this show and are trying to bring it back. I am just another gal with the same home. So maybe in the near future I can watch more episodes of this show because witches and magic are just as cool as vamps.

Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies

Another zombie movie I found on beloved Netflix. I do plan on writing about the things I see on Netflix  but more often then not I will be writing about those independent type of films. Because what is the sense of talking about something that most people may have seen such as Deep Impact or The Last Airbender (not that I have seen this movie but I do know it was in the movie theater).

And about Zombies.... well don't get me wrong I like zombies. Who doesn't like the living dead rising again to munch on the living with the blood and the maiming all around (zombies aside, it seems like one could be zombie with the help of drugs but that is a story for another time)?  I didn't watch zombie movies for a long time for the simple fact that you seen one zombie movie you seen them all. Zombies can't talk and they have a hunger for fresh meat. So why did I watch this movie? Abe Lincoln. I couldn't resist a movie with a profound historical character as Abe battling against the very hungry zombies.

So this is how it is, Abe is notified of a bad disease in a southern town. He and a bunch of government officials make a detour to this town on his way to Gettysburg, PA to deliver his speech. The action develops quickly and he meets his lost love who has a daughter which may or may not be his. Townspeople are looking for food but Abe knows just what to do. A confederate officer even helps Abe rid the town of zombies. Some positives most zombie killing was done  by blade but when they used guns they didn't pump 900 bullet holes into the zombie without reloading. Watch for a character named John, a southern sympathizer, that works with Lincoln and really pay attention to the end, I don't want to say to much here.

I liked this movie. The premise was slightly bizarre but that is what I liked about it.  The gore was pretty decent too (if you're into that kind of stuff) but it is a zombie movie so expect blood. I would say clear a night to watch this. It really isn't cheesy and it is filmed pretty well (no b-movie type of filming).

Grab popcorn and watch the president kick zombie ass.

Poultrygeist: Night of the Living Chicken

I love Netflix. I've had it for over a year now. It is so much better than watching PBS all the time or getting cable which is not a good deal at all. One thing I love about Netflix is the horror movies.

I watched Poultrygeist: Night of the Living Chicken a week or so ago and well it is a fine movie in the Troma tradition. Storyline (yeah if you want to call it) for the movie in a nutshell: a franchise chicken restaurant is built on ancient Indian (as in Native American) burial grounds. And voila you have zombie man eating chickens that walk like humans. And of course the movie takes place in lovely Tromaville ( the same place where the Toxic Avenger saves the day and high school is radioactive).

 If you ever watched any Troma movie before than you will be probably pleased there are rauchy sex jokes, blood scenes, and all the cheesy B movie stuff you come to love about Troma movies. This particular movie has singing and a dance scene. 

I was introduced to this line of movies years ago by first a friend and then I watched a couple here and there through the years. Sure, Netflix labels this movie as horror but I know better. At least the gore is great. The story line is kind of cheesy. Would I clear an hour and twenty minutes to watch this movie? No. But if you are bored and looking for something to watch then this is a good choice.