The End of This Chapter

I suppose that it seems rather fitting that with a week of this decade and this year that I say goodbye.

Not permanently. To this persona. It is time for a bit of rebranding- reinvention. Some distance from where I have been and who I was.

I can't stop being a writer. I don't know how to be anything else.

In these years, I have learned a lot about being an independent author. From publishing, book design, editing, proofing, and promoting.

Santa I would like a promoter and editor for Christmas- just saying. And if you're feeling more generous- an advertising budget.

As I move forward, I am taking the pieces of what worked in the past and put them together. I am going to take my time with line by line editing because there is one thing I learned and every independent author should know this-

You will be crucified for imperfection. One comma out of place and hellfire will rain down in the comments. However, big-time authors who have people who do line by line editing also make mistakes and miss a comma here or there are given a pass. You will never see comments to the contrary. Just keep that in mind.

The books will always remain for sale. This blog will always be here because there are some good poems and stories. But there will be no new items from JM Scott. There will be no advertising. Occasionally, there may be free books. But in the end-

This is goodbye. 

Seaspring Briar by JM Scott Free in all Kindle Markets Through June 22, 2019

Seaspring Briar, a horror short story, is free in all Kindle markets through June 22, 2019.

Recent divorcee, Briar Rowen moves into her family home on the Maine coast. But the original residents have never left. The hauntings start as benign but then escalate until people die. Can Briar stop the cycle or become a permanent resident herself.

A scene in this book actually came from a dream, a nightmare actually. Someone gets his head sawed off by a giant sun sculpture like the one pictured on the cover. It turns on its side and spins like a giant saw blade. The head comes off easily. Imagine having that has a nightmare. It's something that doesn't leave you and the image sticks with you.

I never said I had a normal brain.

Grab your free copy today and leave a review. If you can't leave a review because you don't spend enough money on Amazon, feel free to write something on my Facebook page.

Till next time...

Paper Dolls

Broken suns splice tree branches
 into shadows
and I’m left standing here
on this plane
of eternal autumn,
to find sanctuary,
careful not to make contact,
a ripple that no one sees
and afraid of fear, acceptance
To be charismatic and beatific
is to be found in teeth.
and pure bliss?
Only exists in my imagination.

So in this nightmare
I drown in the Xi over and over again
looking for a friend
but will settle for a savior. Glory in the saved.
Behold, there’s more! There’s always more

The time is now to destroy and renew
fire intertwined with ice
passion shimmering false-
fool’s gold, zirconia
love affair with daydreams.

Through the tempest
the incendiary revocation
leaves my fingers bleeding
fire, jealousy, sadness
invites the intrusion
of a voice
who wants a home made of paper
and says Maybe I could love
somebody who never said ‘I love you’

Haunted by all those voices
yet alone
to build
serendipitous sand castles on the sun
while the moon falls apart
takes back its magic
and takes me back
to nowhere and nothing. 

Shadow Weaver

Don’t enter the canal
where the golden gondolas
drift in murky water
mosquitoes gallop
malaria races through their
frail long-legged bodies
Egyptian cotton in the pillows
pink pills on the satin sheets
the smoking moon sleeps in cobwebs
with ladybugs who should be gone.

And this is
where autumn turns
to summer heat
black lipstick on the cheek
those yesterdays are just an update
ants in the glass.

Welcome to here
sign your name and watch all the stars go out
blackness eats
away from the canal
to the lilies where freedom breathes
phosphorescent daydreams
deja vu at the table

it’s an all-out surrender to shadows
come on and feel their embrace
feel the flight in murky water fingers
let them breath stale whispers
and follow the light home

Sweet Dreamland Wheels by JM Scott Free in all Kindle Markets Through June 1, 2019

Hey all, Sweet Dreamland Wheels is FREE in all Kindle markets through June 1, 2019. This is a collection of found and/or experimental poems.

As I was grabbing the link for the book, I realized this book was turning 4 this June. It seems a lot longer than that. But I think I move on a different timeline than other people. At least it seems like it.

So here's a free sample from the book where I used HP Lovecraft as a source text.

Binary

Image by Muhammad Ribkhan from Pixabay 

To: jdvaras@hotmail.com
From: Unknown Sender
Subject: Remember Ringing Rocks

Hey babe,

I hope you didn’t delete. I don’t think you would. Hell, maybe you don’t even use this email anymore. How long has it been? It feels like yesterday to me. I was there in the May sunshine laying in your arms and then a pain that started small and then my brain exploded or that’s what it felt like. I don’t really know how else to explain it. I know I’m dead and chances are I wouldn’t open this email either if the roles were reversed. But I guess I would because of Ringing Rocks.

Did you find a new woman? I hope so. I don’t want you pining away for me. I’m dead. I know this. I wish I could see you. But it’s not like the stories. This heaven, if you want to call it that. I can’t see anything. Even writing this required a freak solar storm. And for a brief moment, I saw how the world changed. I don’t know the current year. I don’t see anything. I don’t feel anything but I hear voices.

I don’t know how much time I have. I wish I could give you more answers. But remember the old family story about the gold pieces that my great grandpappy stole from Blue Beard and he buried it somewhere. It’s true. Great Grandpappy said it was. JD, go to the old farmhouse walk east to the woods and there is a tree that looks like a Y. Under the roots is the chest. Take it JD and be happy. I’m here waiting for you.

Love you,
G.

To: bigballz@hotmail.com
From: jdvaras@hotmail.com
Subject: Help!

I think I’m going crazy.  I just got an email from Greta. It has to be a glitch right?

To: elise.johnson@meadows.org
From: jdvaras@hotmail.com
Subject: Need to talk to you!

Dr. Johnson,

It’s urgent that I speak with you right away. I am seriously losing my mind. You said I was getting better, but I can’t be. I just got an email from Greta. It’s got to be a sick joke right. I tried to make an appointment but the soonest you can see me in is in July. Could you spare a few minutes and call me? Please, I’m desperate.

JD Varas

To: jdvaras@hotmail.com
from: bigballz@hotmail.com
Subject: Greta

Why don’t we go? The woods are still there. What would it hurt? Buddy, you need closure Greta’s gone now for five years. I’m worried about you. I rented a car for this weekend. I’ll pick you up at 9 and we’re going to get this treasure.

To: jdvaras@hotmail.com
From: elise.johnson@ meadows.org

JD,

I have been trying to call you for days. I am worried about you. As you know, grief changes a person. I am afraid that our offices were hacked and someone is playing a sick joke on you. I am worried that it is someone trying to do something nefarious and you take the blame. I have alerted the police.

Please call. I told my assistant to schedule you right away, even after hours.

Dr. Elise Johnson

To: bigballz@hotmail.com
From: jdvaras@hotmail.com
Subject: This weekend.

I’m not going this weekend. I talked to my shrink and someone is playing a joke on me. That’s what she said.

In a way, I was really hoping Greta wrote. I want to believe that she is not really gone. Is that really so wrong? I’m trying to get over her. But nothing I do works. She’s everywhere. She’s in all the clothes I wear, all the furniture I sit on, the bed I sleep on. I swear I see her shape in the shadows.

The shrink is upping my meds. We’ll see how it goes.


To: jdvaras@hotmail.com
From: bigballz@hotmail.com
Subject: You ain’t ditching me.

If I have to hog tie you and throw you in the trunk, then so be it. You need this. You need to get out. You need to do something. Greta wouldn’t want you wallowing.



To: jdvaras@hotmail.com
From: penny.micheals@eandm.com
Subject: Blue Beards coins

Good afternoon JD,

Sorry, it took me so long to get back to you. The coin you gave me has been authenticated and it appears to be from the right time frame of Blue Beard’s missing treasure. This is an incredible find. Are you looking for someone appraise the collection for insurance or for sale?

We need the entire collection for a full appraisal. If you want to sell, the appraisal is free. For insurance, the appraisal will cost $540. This includes related paperwork.

Thank you for letting touch this wonderful piece of American history. I look forward to hearing from you and seeing more of the collection.

Take care,
Penny

To: jdvaras@hotmail.com
From: bigballz@hotmail.com
Subject: Treasure

What are you going to do with the rest of the treasure? Are you going to keep it or sell it?

You didn’t have to give me any. But... I bought the garage with the money. I’ll be opening Cuztomz next month. I have a huge party planned. You will be there, right. Strike that. You will be there. It’s all because of you I get to open this shop anyway.

I don’t think I could ever repay you.

To: jdvaras@hotmail.com
from: penny.micheals@eandm.com
Subject: Final paperwork

Good morning JD,

The sale is complete and we need to come in to sign the final paperwork. The cashier’s check is also available for pick up.

Take care,

Penny.


To: bigballz@hotmail.com
From: jdvaras@hotmail.com
Subject: I’ll be there.

I don’t think I could ever repay you for all that you did for me over the few last years. Without you, I don’t know where I would be. And I know you hate mushy shit. I just thought you should know.

You’re like a brother to me. And you’re right finding the treasure has brought me closure with Greta. And you’re right, she wouldn’t want me wallowing.

I think I am going to try living again. I’m going to start with your grand opening party. Could you maybe have a chick set up for me? I need to stop using my hand.  I need to live once again.

To:jdvaras@hotmail.com
From: tshad@cammyshouse.org
Subject: Thank You!

Dear Mr. Varas,

From all of us at Cammy’s House, we want to thank you for your generous donation of $1.5 million dollars.  With this money, we will be building a new shelter and naming it after your late wife, Greta Varas.  In addition, scholarships will be set up to assist battered women to better themselves.

You probably hear this all the time. But Greta was amazing. So beautiful, so much strength. When she met you, I remembered how she seemed to float. And she was so scared because of her first husband. But we all knew you were different. I wanted to call so many times, but I never knew what to say.  I miss Greta every day. She has touched so many women here at the shelter. She was the inspiration for all our women that they could do better and make it in this world. And I know it wasn’t fair that she was taken from you, from us, from this world.

If you ever want to talk, just call.

Take care, JD.

Tabby Shad

Heart of a Goddess by JM Scott free Through May 22, 2019

Hey all, Heart of a Goddess is FREE in all Kindle markets through May 22, 2019.

Story in a nutshell: Leonard is looking love and he thinks he finds it when he rescues a half-naked woman in a snowstorm. She promises him the world if he brings her one thing- a beating human heart. 

This is also the first book I ever self-published. So gather around the screen it's story time.

According to Amazon, I published this book on November 13, 2013 so it will turn 6 this year. Before I even know that you could self-publish books on Kinde, I was writing stories for other people to publish. I made $20-30  per short story and I got a byline. Part of the agreement was I lost all rights to it. I admit I was not well versed in the publishing world. And these opportunities came at a time when I needed money.

Prior to this book, I had three published this way. This was one was for a repeat client. But then they rejected it because it failed their standards (graphic violence). So I had a book prepared for publishing and I had no idea what to do with it. So I asked Google and discovered I could do this myself.

And the rest is history. I love publishing myself. Not saying, I don't want someone else to publish my work in a traditional sense but with Kindle, I can write the story I want to write. I prefer writing long short stories and novellas and Kindle is the best place for these.

Anyway... so that's that. Grab a free copy of Heart of Goddess, take a read and let me know what you think.

Till next time...

Sciophobia

I walk from

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay 

my cubical to the bathroom down the long white hallway past the executive offices. Out of the corner my eye, hundred of tiny shadows dart back and forth. I stop and look. Nothing is there. I continue on my way,  and the shadows invade my vision once again. Maybe it’s the new anxiety medicine I started. I stop and see nothing, again. Just as I get the to restroom door, the shadows swarm me.

Haverford Daily News: Man Found Torn to Shreds in Office Hallway.
Police Have no Leads.
Second “animal” attack in Haverford in a week.

Ascendant

I have the moon
and walked to the city
of dawn. Shadowed lamp
light against the blue
sky gravel.
So I look for synthetic
destiny under the textured
copper beach wood.
On the horizon altar
the crow holds the seraphim
talisman while mangroves
lay unfolded. The right hand
star spreads across succulent
meadow rivers and I grasp
for the light rope dangling
from the peach cumulus.

Seeking Publishers

For years now, I have been sending out stories and poems to print magazines and digital magazines, magazines that pay or don't. Sure, I would like to get paid, but it doesn't even matter now. In all those years, I have had haiku published in Frogpond and Bear Creek Haiku. This was years ago.

According to my spreadsheet I have been keeping since 2015, I have 99 rejections. A 100% rejection rate.  It is discouraging.

I know this is how the business is. And this is to be expected.

But I think I had an epiphany the other day while I was doing a submission blitz.  My work does not fit in any magazine, print or digital, anywhere.

I don't follow the current "popular" style. My stories are heavy in dialogue. My stories do not describe the rain in a paragraph when a sentence is sufficient enough. My stories are genre and not at the same time. Many of poems are cerebral, surreal, and based in language play.

And so I must ask myself, should I bother with the magazines when I know it will be rejection. I read the guidelines. I read the samples. And I know my work doesn't fit. So then I wonder what should I do now?

Times like this I wish I had another author to talk with. 

Writing is fun; I love it. I love editing. I love revising. I hate submission and looking for publishers.

Till next time...

Moonswallow Gates by JM Scott FREE in all Kindle Markets Through May 5, 2019

Hey all, Moonswallow Gates is FREE in all Kindle markets through May 5, 2019.

Valisa Ravensquire, recent college grad, learns that a great-uncle she never knew died and left her a stone tower house and money. And... a magical legacy. Suddenly, her life changes. The house comes alive and what horrors await with this new power and legacy. Come on by and find out.

Perhaps, you are wondering why I offer free book promotions. The short answer: I am trying to figure out is my target audience and build an audience.

Moonswallow Gates is horror and the first novel I ever wrote. I have more novels in various stages of revision. These novels are much better than this one. Like all things, the more you do it, the better you become. Of course, in those years, I don't write horror as much, but branch out toward more speculative fiction. Though, I am still magic obsessed.

Anyway,  I know there is a one-star review. When the review was written, I unpublished the novel and revised it again. So I hope, it is a much better version. I would love for you to read it and let me know.

Till next time...

Driving on a Mountain Road at Night

The Alleghenies
spring green and purple petals
storms in mist. Night falls
an eighteen-wheeler brakes hard,
a doe struggles to stand.

***
Hey all, here is a poem 30 and the end of NaPoWriMo for 2019. What a whirlwind of the month. The prompt for today was to write a short poem. This is a tanka and was inspired by events that I experienced today.

Vespers

The monopoly magician stands
 in the tiger lily field, wields
ultraviolet and pushes
pollen to Sunday

I pluck a black rose, volts
course through my quartz
heart. Atop the watchtower
the valporate jelly fools
the magician’s logic.

A language wave
a lux worship
a burning spring
absolute gold
sunset me and the magician
fall away.

***
Here is poem 29, another search poem. I can't believe this month is almost over. I've written some good poems and not so good poems. But at least I wrote poems.

Find more poets at NaPoWriMo

Universe

***

Here is poem 28, I couldn't think of a meta poem to write today. So I did a blackout poem from Eureka  by Edgar Allan Poem.  Check out other poets at NaPoWriMo 

Today, I finally finished the first draft of Suburban Vampires.  I am looking forward to revising it and uploading the entire thing to Watt Pad. I am hoping to post in October. 

Woods Lost

The book-elf myth trowels conjugations
and the sun-hydrant oath inks amnesty.
I buy the honeydew totem yet the twin wine
weeps superior land. Who buys the monastery?
Hustle-moths revolt and sew the blue tin
featherbed. I eat air, roar,  and ascend. Ethylene
endows wheat donuts. Hut hens twitch mint-gin
prisms and iced tree harmonies fend cane.
Monks vow hell-law through decayed teeth. Lux
provokes the earthly mini bees
In the forum café, harmony-freedom frets syntheses,
the wet-ash injuries hit high-trade telemetry.

I am the obscene sun that dotes on a seminal rain
twirling guilt on an ion hike to kidnap acorns.

***
I suppose I should have read the prompt earlier because I liked it so much, I decided to do it. However, poems like these take a lot of revision to make it something more...  The prompt was to remix one of Shakespeare's sonnets. I chose CXXXIX (Call me not the justify the wrong).  Then I took each line and ran it through an anagram generator.  Once it was done, it needed a lot of revision; I added words, changed parts of speech, etc. I like how it turned it. It's a lot of fun to read out loud. Go on, take a read.

Dog Days

Nectar, ambrosia, and the forgotten scythe
in the summer dream glade
frost gathers on the wild growth
I’m tempted to turn and linger.

In the summer glade
dragonflies and fireflies dance and drink
I’m tempted to turn and linger
with wandering propagation

Dragonflies and fireflies dance and drink
to cicada and cricket chorus
With wandering propagation,
my scion spirt is strewn with windfalls.

To the cicada and cricket chorus
I relive summer prizes, peaches, and penance.
My scion spirit is strewn with windfalls
among nectar ambrosia and the forgotten scythe.

***
Hey all, this is poem 26 and I followed the prompt and tried out a new form, the pantoum. I also like this form and may use for my annual Christmas poem. I suppose I am on a  surreal kick at the moment. But honestly, I love surrealism and enjoy writing it, no matter what form it takes.

Suburban Vampires is almost done! Just one more chapter to write.  I am so glad that the first draft is going to be done. I am looking forward to revising it. I have grown so much as a writer from when I first started it. Much of the beginning needs a massive overhaul.

Edict

Alone in the woods,
the blind oracle
waits at the hidden harbor
with incessant anxiety

What demon possessed me?
I promised to pay
the nutshell of civility
my consequent luxury
was time to be a machine
I was alone with the oracle.

The sun rose clear
without proof. The smoke
of opinion ripens
the hemlock, oak, maple,
spruce, elm, and birch.

“The stars are the apexes
of what wonderful triangles,”
she said, dilated the atmosphere
and faded into tangerine light
Yes, it is I replied
alone in the woods.


***
This is poem 25. I wasn't feeling the prompt today, so I decided to use another found poem method, I selected words and phrases from a source text. I used On Walden Pond by Henry David Thoreau. Most words in this poem came from the first few pages in my Kindle edition. The only part in the poem with quotation marks is a direct sentence, word for word from the text. Love, love that line.

Find more great poets at NaPoWriMo.

Witch Hazel

Mercury’s facade
burns the eyes of proximities
as I shift trade routes.
I’m the genesis array
with golden antidifference.

***
Here is poem 24. A day late- I was going to write one last night but I found myself floating in space. I sort of followed the prompt. I used the random feature on Wikipedia and wrote down words and phrases to make a word bank. Then I decided to write a tanka with it.

I have another to write for the day; I will be caught once again. Just five more days...

Roanoke

From the ivy terrace
I eat blood
orange slices,
while old men play
dominoes on the rusty
shark cage

doll eyes tumble
in the blue-green roulette
wheel. And no one seems
to see the saltwater cowboy
decoy or the burning
hollow tree.

The media calls
for a matron wrapped
in corona as hazard
buoys free
themselves and drift
toward smokey stars.

***
Here is poem 23, and I caught up. Good thing. Today, I did another search poem. I had some trouble creating a word bank and went through several combinations before I got a large enough word bank. As I was reading over it doing some edits and revisions, this poem made me think of Roanoke- as in Roanoke, NC. I don't know why but thought it was a good title. Find more great poets NaPoWriMo.

I also made a huge jump in Suburban Vampires.  Technically, I have 8 more pages to write to "win" but, it would be great to finish it. I don't have a lot more chapters to write. If I keep working on a chapter on a day, I should finish the entire thing by the end of April.

Gale

Cape Cod Evening by Edward Hooper
Image retrieved from the
 National Gallery of Art,
Washington DC

He’s a working man
not paid enough for long hours
building boats he’s never going
to sail for the white Victorian
in Cape Cod.

She’s an unhappy woman
with her children living
their own lives, wanting
more than taking care
of the white Victorian
in Cape Cod.

The collie stands
in autumn seagrass
watching sparrows seek
shelter from the eastward
storm at the white Victorian
in Cape Cod.

They all wait
for the lightning strike
for the thunder growl
for the rain to finally fall
on the white Victorian
in Cape Cod.

***
Hey all, here is poem 22, an ekphrastic poem, which somewhat follows the prompt for the day. Once I complete my current poetry project, One Book, 300 Poems, a Pinterest exclusive project featuring blackout and whiteout poetry from the same book, I plan on working on a series of ekphrastic poems using artwork from new artists on Etsy. That won't be for a while since I have about a year or two to finish the current project.

Anyway, I love Edward Hooper. He's one of my favorites in addition to Van Gogh and Dali. There's something peaceful about his paintings. But there's more to them. I can look at them for a while just taking it all in. When I went to the National Gallery of Art website to find open source images, I was delighted to see two Edward Hoopers. I had a hard time choosing which one.

I got one more to catch up on. Find more great poets at NaPoWriMo